EMPATHY–WHAT OUR WORLD NEEDS NOW

This post has been circling in my mind for quite a while. It seems like now is a good time to put all these thoughts down in some cohesive way. Yesterday I watched the YouTube video that went viral, “Bullied Tennessee Student Crying About Abuse…” as his mom records his tearful plea. A few weeks back, I went with a group of middle-schoolers to see the inspiring and heartwarming movie, WONDER. Last month, an article in GOOD HOUSEKEEPING, caught my eye. “The Moment That Changed Our Lives Forever” is a story about Microsoft CEO and tech guru, Satya Nadella. In the article, he opened up about his family’s challenges and his inspiring book, Hit Refresh. About his book, he states, “At its core, it’s about humans and the unique quality we call empathy, which will become even more valuable in a world where the torrent of technology will disrupt the status quo like never before.” Empathy will become EVEN MORE VALUABLE… that one powerful statement stuck with me. You can now see why empathy has been weighing heavy on my heart and mind.

EMPATHY—WHAT IS IT?

When I was a kid, I remembered having feelings of sympathy for others. Once, when I was about 8 or 9, my good friend’s dog had died and I felt bad for her. I wanted to say something or do something that would cheer her up and make it all better. I didn’t know exactly what to say or what to do–which is probably pretty typical of most children. As we grow into adults, we learn to navigate certain expected social behaviors. Empathy is a powerful social/emotional skill and some people lack the ability to empathize or have not fully developed it. You may know of someone or have encountered a person that was unable to put themselves in another’s shoes. As parents and teachers, we can help our children foster this most important social/emotional skill.

Here is a good working definition of empathy.

Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel another person’s experiences and emotions from their perspective.

WHAT IF THERE WAS A LACK OF EMPATHY?

As we begin to prepare for the next massive wave of technology to improve our everyday lives, we have to continue our necessary work of enhancing social/emotional skills. For that reason, it is crucial for parents and teachers to have conversations with children/students to provide guidance. Just think, without empathy, no conflict resolution can occur. Imagine how difficult it would be to solve problems in life or in the classroom, especially if that other person cannot or will not try to see your point of view. And of course, this goes both ways. It is equally important that you try to see things from that other person’s perspective. With both parties trying to find common ground, conflicts are resolved, relationships repaired, and friendships blossom and endure.

WHAT CAN TEACHERS DO?

What is something teachers can do to develop the skill of empathy? Teachers have access to so many wonderful pieces of children’s literature. While using that book to teach academic skills, such as: main idea or character analysis, try looking at it through a different lens. Let that story become a springboard for discussion on social/emotional skills or character conflicts. Two of my favorite books that come to mind are: Thank You, Mr. Faulker by Patricia Polacco and Each Kindness by Jacqueline Woodson. There are many great stories out there and I’m sure each teacher can name several of their favorites. Use these books to engage students in conversations about any connections they may have with a particular character or how they thought the character handled the conflict in the story.

WE CAN’T LOSE SIGHT OF WHAT’S IMPORTANT

In today’s world, reports and articles on how technology has consumed much of the lives of our children has become a reality for many. “Too much screen time,” you hear the experts, child phycologist, and pediatricians say. Even our teenagers are becoming resistant to holding face to face conversations. They too often text a friend or family member even when sitting in the same room or same car. Our children are missing out on important human interaction. Somehow we have to find a balance. Technology is an amazing thing when it is at the right time and for the right reasons. I worry for this younger generation. They are using their phones as a constant companion, distraction, or an escape. We have to do better than that—for their sake. I go back to the article from Microsoft CEO, Satya Nadella. “…Empathy will become more valuable in a world where the torrent of technology will disrupt the status quo like never before.”

MY FAVORITE QUOTES ABOUT EMPATHY

“You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself.”

John Steinbeck

“If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view, until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.”

Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird

“Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant with the weak and wrong. Sometimes in your life, you will be all of these.”

Gautama Buddha

“Learning to stand in somebody else’s shoes, to see through their eyes, that’s how peace begins. And it’s up to you to make that happen. Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world.”

Barack Obama