Just ask any teacher about managing the behaviors of a classroom filled with students and you will more than likely get an earful! It does not matter if they are kindergarteners or middle-schoolers. There are always challenges. Maybe it is the particular age group of the students or the fact that there are so many students in a classroom. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the use and misuse of the “time-out” chair.
“Time out” has been around for many years. Sometimes it is used in a punitive manner as a punishment for some rule-breaking behavior. But yet–sometimes, it is used as a teaching tool by parents and teachers to help children/students navigate the ability for self-regulation and their desire to make better choices.
You see, for “time out” to be effective it has to be used consistently, for small, minor infractions, and delivered with a respectful tone. Believe me, I know, that is easier said than done! So as parents and teachers, we must take a step back when misbehavior occurs. We take a few moments to check ourselves, possibly taking a few deep breaths, be thoughtful in the words we are about to say and the tone we are going to use. NOW, I am not saying we cannot have a firm tone — because we can! We just have to make sure when we deliver our message of “time out” it shows that we are in control–even when the child or student is not. After all, we are the adult!
A Responsive Classroom teacher has the understanding of using “time out” in a non-punitive manner. It is used to help children take a break, regroup, get their self-control back and rejoin the lesson. Minimal learning is lost, the student can hear what is going on. The student is given a gift of time to possibly rethink what he/she did–what better ways he/she could have handled the situation. The student is given the gift of time to calm down and take deep breaths, if needed. The student is given the gift of time to disengage from the problem or issue. The time spent in “time out” is brief. The student has a responsibility to catch up on any missed work or leaning. Also, it’s important that the student “saves face.” He/she is not made fun of or ridiculed. After all, we ALL make mistakes.
After being a classroom teacher for 37 years, my use of “time out” evolved into one where it was used with respect and understanding of child development. Of course, in my early years, I used it in a punitive manner–as many teachers did “back in the day.” I look back now with regret and realized it was only a short term fix and certainly caused bad feelings–which was never my intent. You know what they say, when we KNOW better, we DO better! In 1995, I was introduced to the Responsive Classroom approach and their philosophy on discipline and classroom management. The TIME OUT chair took on a totally different meaning. It takes time to become effective in using “time out.” So if there are any teachers or parents out there, be patient with yourself and your child/student. It is a learning process. You are now looking at it through a different lens. One in which you will be better equipped to help your child/student to learn self-regulation and better decision making. Both are important life skills.
“Time out” does not work for everyone. Teachers will certainly understand that statement. For some children, we have to be creative and find other solutions to help children get back on track. One of our Guiding Principles in Responsive Classroom states, “What we know and believe about our students–individually, culturally, and developmentally–informs our expectations, reactions, and attitudes about those students.” It is vital that we KNOW the children we teach. Teachers have to understand what will be effective and what will not. Even as adults, I’m sure many of us can say that we are rule breakers –especially if you have ever driven over the speed limit or used the express line at the grocery store with more items than they suggested!!! We as adults, (parents and teachers) must have EMPATHY for the rule breaker. I find it hard to watch adults hold children to higher standards than they would hold for themselves. Please remember EMPATHY!
There is one amazing quote I have used often. It is from Deb Porter in Rules in School. She states:
“Time Out is like the grooves on the side of the highway. It is that gentle nudge that pulls us back in before we go barreling off of the road.”
Isn’t that perfect! Don’t we all need gentle reminders from time to time? Hold that quote and let it reframe your thinking of the “time out” chair.
Thank you for keeping your heart in the classroom.
I’ve been pushing the idea of continued practice as it has far reaching value to individual kids as they get to do what makes us all better at something! Practice also allows the community to develop their responsibility to this care taking device. Perhaps most importantly, the adults begin to explore their agility with this device/system.
Another push of mine has been the idea of “time-in”. This is a time when we more deeply explore what is going on with a child.
Wow!!! “Time in” sounds like the perfect compliment to a “ time out!” Teachers/parents taking the time to talk, understand, get to the root of the matter could be the key to understanding and improvement!!
I love that idea, Andy!! Thanks for sharing!!