Recently while presenting a Responsive Classroom workshop, a lively discussion centered on classroom management and teacher language took front and center stage. A simple question was posed to the group. “Think about something a teacher said to you when you were in school. It can be at any age, any grade.” There were a few moments of silent reflection going on until I posed the questions, “How many of you have a memory about a positive experience?” One hand shot up. ONLY ONE HAND. “How many of you have a memory about a negative experience?” The remaining 23 hands shot up into the air. I wish you could have seen the faces of those participants as they slowly began to realize the impact that our words matter—a TEACHER’S words matter. There was this sense of disbelief that only one person out of 24 had a positive recollection but was equally resounding was the realization that the negative memory has weighed on these participants’ hearts all these years later.
Children’s experiences in school, their success with social, emotional, and academic growth are unequivocally tied to our teacher language. How we (the teacher) talk to them, support them, teach them, encourage them, guide them, and discipline them—it all matters. It matters a great deal. I cannot stress this enough. It’s crucial for the success of our students to have teachers (and many of them do) take that moment to STOP and specifically THINK about what they are about to say. We are, after all, only human, and we make mistakes. We do say things we wished we hadn’t said. I know I have. What helps is when we take that deep breath, choose to be thoughtful in our words, and deliver those words with respect. Teachers can still be firm with their voices and yet choose the right words to help a child regain control or get back on track or try solving that problem again (for the third time) without defeating or humiliating a child and his/her sense of self-worth.
Let me leave you with this: 10, 20, 30 years from now, if one of your students were asked, “Think about something a teacher said to you when you were in school.” Would their hand go up for a positive experience or a negative one, if they were reflecting on you? Hmmm…??
