Lessons I Have Learned from My Students

Have you ever had a reoccurring dream? One that you just can’t let go. That seemed to be the impetus that has me finally writing again! Over the past few years, I have been flooded with memories of lessons I taught, some went extremely well and some went terribly wrong. Something else kept creeping into my thoughts and that was, “What were the lessons I learned from my students? What did THEY teach ME?” As I have pondered those questions, a few memories of some hard lessons I learned (thanks to my students) came flooding back.

An important part of the learning cycle, no matter your age, is to reflect and evaluate what was it you just learned–(student) or how successful was the lesson you just taught–(teacher.) As I think back to my many, many years in the classroom, I’ll admit that early on I would bask in the glory of just the lessons that went well. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that as it fueled my efficacy and competence as I continued to develop as a teacher and hone my teaching skills. But as I learned to grow as a teacher, I began to take a deep look inside and own my mistakes and failures when lessons flopped, transitions were chaotic, or student progress was not sufficient. I think this was about the time that I adopted a growth mindset, (which was long overdue.) I was ready to embrace challenges and view mistakes as opportunities to learn. The following stories are ones where I accept responsibility in the way things played out. And if you are a teacher, I hope you take a few moments to reflect and have a heart-to-heart with yourself as well. *This is PART 1!

When Progress is Slow

It was around my 10th year of teaching and I had an adorable, petite student who found first grade to be so challenging. We barely got through a day without several outburst of tears because she struggled with independent tasks or some other aspect of school. I grew concerned and spent time finding ways to help her adjust and gave added support. Those early months sailed by and not much progress was made. I am ashamed to admit this, but during our Winter break-Christmas holidays, I was thinking about her lack of advancement and felt what she really needed was an extra year to mature and grow. As January arrived with the feeling of a fresh start, my student somehow seemed more settled, attentive, and was more willing to take risks in her reading, math, and writing assignments. All of a sudden, that much talked about “light bulb moment” happened and she met with success more frequently. Her tears were replaced with smiles and a “I Can Do This!” attitude. That student went on to work super hard during the spring semester and mastered every benchmark that was needed to complete first grade.

My sweet, petite student taught me a valuable lesson that I will never forget: DO NOT COUNT ANY ONE OUT! You can’t really tell when the “lightbulb” will be switched on. It may have taken her a little longer to find her footing in first grade, but when she did, she thrived! That was one very valuable lesson that I learned from my student and has served me well to never prejudge a student based on the first half of the year.

Maybe Not Every Meltdown is the Student’s Fault

One year, I had this particular student in my class that accelerated in academics but was a challenge with behavior issues and self-control. Plenty of teachers can relate to this scenario, I’m sure. This student was engaging and knowledgeable about so many topics. He loved telling stories and teaching the class about his interests with bugs! As the year progressed, I soon learned he had quite the temper and would easily get frustrated.

One particular day, his frustration was building. I had been cautiously monitoring him. The class went off to Music and that left me with a little time to make a phone call to a parent and prepare for the upcoming lesson in math. I remember hurrying down the hall to pick up the class and head back to our room, when my student rushed over to let me know about an incident that had happened in Music. He was adamant in “needing” to tell me. I was not ready to entertain this (which is what I perceived as “tattling” at the moment in the hall) and told him to go back to his spot in line and we can talk about it later once we returned to the room. Upon returning, the class filed in and I was getting the students ready to transition to our math lesson. The next thing that happened was a full-blown meltdown from my student. Books and a desk went flying, he was on the floor kicking, crying, and screaming, and I immediately called for assistance from the administrator. My students left the room and went to my buddy teacher next door. The administrator came in and eventually removed the student once he had settled down. That was my first experience with a severe meltdown. I know meltdowns are scary–for the student, for the rest of the class witnessing it, and for me, the teacher, any teacher.

At the end of the day, I sat at my desk and reflected on what just happened. It was the first time that something of this magnitude happened to my student. Something tugged at my heart, and I could not shake it. I realized that I caused that meltdown. If only I would have let him tell me what “happened in Music class with one of his classmates” right then and there, the whole ugly situation would have been avoided. I could have listened and simply said, “Thanks for letting me know.” and be done with it.

The next day was better. After having met with both mom, dad, and my student, we made a plan for monitoring behavior, using acceptable means of communication, and also me letting him and his parents know how much he is cared for in my class by me and his classmates. Each new day students start over with a clean slate. Yesterday’s mistakes do not carry over. Don’t we all deserve a clean slate?

His behavior improved as those extreme outbursts became fewer. We worked at managing them and learning coping skills. A book I found most helpful was The Explosive Child, A New Approach for Understanding Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children, by Ross W. Greene, Ph.D. I highly recommend it as it was my saving grace!

Stay tuned for Part 2 and probably a Part 3 of Lessons I have Learned from My Students!